Poem: #52poetry IV

Never Knew

It is vivid

It pounds too hard

it could burst blood

It tightens

breathing is hard

in all of a sudden

Tears won’t stream

Voice won’t cry

because these aren’t it

Poem: #52poetry III

Valerie

Wrapped bar with rice

Is a very crispy chocolate

Separated from the rest

By the ivories and ebony

This solid over dark rubber

Petite and skin that shines

I work not on the weekends

Not even once you got showered

Sometimes I go out by myself

And I leave you on your own

Dusty to the ever-changing wind

Got drizzled over and no wipes

Valerie how long I’ve been gone?

Not sprinkling you with snowy bubbles

and placing bread scented wax in a jar

Still not yet set you for a saloon

I favour travelling with you

Only through the day since

the night blinds my two eyes

So today we got to be leaving

Where Marigold dropped the cotton candy

Poem: #52poetry II

Lazy

Woke up to a

               hungry tummy

Think of a tiny can

               bought last night

In that small shop

               of small things

After the trip took

               the bouncy self

The tiny can

               was in the corner

Uncapped the tiny can

               of brown wafer rolls

Ate a couple and

               danced to the beat

Put the tiny can

               back in the corner

Wanting to keep

               for sisters later

Then, ate cookies

               of black teddies

POEM: #52Poetry

Dark Awakening

It was a rainy day

When you took my fears away

While it poured on the road

Washed the ache singing heart

Look what you have done

Got me chasing all the sea waves

And of the aesthetic ocean words

When you whispered beads of rain

Do tell me when you’re leaving

Will you call on me when

The turbulent sea hits? Knowing

I never brought an umbrella

Oh rain, I must love you

Why else would I long for you?

You compel me out of my mind

Waking me up from my sleeps

And I know too much.

Too much rain wakes the flood

If I ever the flood drowns me

There’s no shame I

have

loved

you.

Movie: Ki & Ka

First of all Im gonna share the link to the trailer:

It is a Hindi movie and I saw the trailer by accident on the television and I was just talking about this concept with a friend or two of mine and I said to my woa what a coincident and so of course I want to watch this.  I saw the ad yesterday and I watched it today.  The last Hindi movie I watched was Dangal which I love so so much!  I tried to convince my family to watch it but I still need to find a good time to finally show them it.  I tried showing to my students but they weren't interested and not going to give it at least a try at all, so I gave up on them.  Pity them.  While the latest new movie was the Justice League which I don't have much response to it just that I've learned so much about the ever existing Superman and Wonder Woman, geez and I can be so bad at it so forgive me.  I love Ezra in his Flash suit and I don't know much about The Flash but I think Ezra is The Flash.   He looks like he's being himself or rather a bit of himself in that movie.

Anyway,

It was a 2016 movie so I was late and I haven't checked for the reviews or the issues that follow this movie.  I believe that this movie will cause some interesting responses from many people or activists idk.  

The movie has wonderful script and I don't know much about the casts but they're okay, I like the pairing, the mom and the dad; the typical successful working man with a son.  The background stories of the couple and how they come about being who they are now.  The beginning (not the very beginning, maybe the part in the plane) of the movie and the ending (not the very ending, the plane scenes) scenes have got to be my favorite <insert noun here> it has that something that makes me say this is a well plotted story, a something that is different from others, it'd make a good poem if it is a poem (if you know how I like my poem), the pattern would be the one that catch me instantly, something unexpected I guess... Not planning to exaggerate but this is what I feel, and I might be comparing it with the not so many movies I've watched out there.   

But English Literature classes got me this way and I LOVE it.

okay, the one of the issues in this movie would be the gender equality (here's the thing about me, I am not a feminist (I might be missing out what they fight for but I know the gist) but I want justice and not equality and also I want society not to judge me based on my gender.   That I have the expectations that I have to meet just because I am what I was born as.
Like "u x leh msk ka?" "eh u pmpuan so ape u msk the best?" "u pmpuan misti taw ni"
***
*Me in shower thinking: Here ahh, I may not know what the dishes' name you mentioned and that I should have cooked them ,,i may not know BUT the thing is I cook, I go to kitchen and I help and I cook and that is okay for me.  it might be not as good as other girls or that boys shouldnt be better than me.... just if anything u shud be concerned is that if grown adults out there who knows no shit about cooking something.  THAT is the issue,, not me who seems cant cook when I shudnt be bcuz im a girl. 

This movie points out the issues and also the voices, the other voices that might or already expected from the society, from many kinds of people, here and there and also I think they are brave to being this out and even said "Indian's tradition".

So this man wants to be like his mom in which is a housewife and he portrays that as an artist.  Housewife is an artist and I feel bad for not ever think it that way, and I have to agree, it's a huge deal (it's not that I'm saying that housewife is nothing nooooo), we can see how Kabir (the man in the movie) got reeled up when Kia (the girl in the movie) said "well, ur dad moves forward and it is important so your mom can sit and do nothing" and yeah that is when viewed from Kabir's eyes is so offensive.  The thing about housewives, homemakers,, society: men and women, old and young,, we belittle them since ever.  Girls themselves putting down other girls who are a stay at home mom or housewives.

And for me Kabir doesnt do this to proof a point or something, he just has dreams and it happens that he doesnt like office hassles or taking over his dad's company and stuffs, (he's a mama's boy) and his dad hate the idea and only after like 3 or 4 years he finally visited his daughter in law. < I love this scene XD.  

Kia also said she isn't try to proof anything by becoming a successful businesswoman; just that I do what I can do best, she said (different from the actual dialogue but the point is the same)

The scene in the hospital

by Kia

Kia's mom reply

CLICK TO VIEW


This is the letter by
Jaya Badhuri Bachan
(ya she plays herself in the movie) to Kia:

Script

Listening: Hard Out Here by Lily Allen

I forgot what I need to say, I thought there's more but got distracted by the new track I just found "it's hard out here for a bitch" and the editing of the font of the script excerpt.  and also I really want to know how they would handle children (ive seen real life tho), tho Kia doesnt want children.
And through Kia we can see women's emotional break downs, and ya hate to break it but ya that's women, Kia is seen to be outcasting his husband and Kabir was seen sad but he got through and when Kabir has the attention she was jealous.  GENERALLY: we are too insecure, we judge too quick,,    BUT the levels of them,,they differ from one woman to another woman and that what makes me special  (hehe nah, I probably have OCD and anxiety and no this is not a sex/gender probs)

and also I have no problems if guys want to be house husbands or stay at home dads, this is not even a new thing, some already done it and guhhh do what you want as long that makes you happy and it's not salah in syariah.

Kia is different from many women out there just like the way the letter says and at the same time she too portrays the emotional bringing of a woman.  As for Kabir, he is too a different man, in fact in my eyes his kind is so rare out there (at least in my place, the country im in).  But together they make a good team and a CUTE couple.  I ship this kind of relationships.

and also I still want men to do the fish catching in the swamp XD, the other day we had this camp for 3 days 2 nights and they asked us to jump in the swamp to catch haruan,, hahaha I guess I have no knowledge of catching this venomish fish and I feel geli2 hahahah so I went up just in time when they asked the boys to come down and do the work, I guess Im too shy to show myself too erghhhh,, I can catch some fish if I want to duhhh (hahhha) and since we had so many tenaga kerja so why not let them do it, they wanted and readily to do it.

Music: Tennis

I found another new muse! Alhamdulillah!  Thanks to my sister for introducing this duo? They're totally a talented art maker.  I was busy listening to some other songs for inspiration (I'm lacking of it these days)  And I am listening to the whole latest album by this duo, I believe that they make these tracks themselves, I meant the writing.

When she suggested me to type 'Modern Woman Tennis' I expected a man and a kinda song like Mac DeMarco's and I was wrong for the first part.  The music video is like an old era, like 70s or 80s, a lady which I learned as the singer and she wears this big curly hair and the lights all over her while she's turning and you know the mvs back then.

I am as a time traveler enthusiast find this very mesmerizing, they really are different, the songs they make are wonderful, hauntingly enchanting.  I looked up and learned that they made music since 2011 with similar cover album concept.

taken from Google

TENNIS!

So while listening to this, my sister told me all the details she know and I love Tennis instantly.  My sister even said that all of their songs are good, tho I feel a little skeptical about that, I don't complain.  I love the first song so why not the second one; In the Morning I'll be Better and I love this one too.  Then I decided to listen to the whole album; Yours Conditionally and while looking for it, I was listening to Matrimony and again I love this too.  For this one I actually looked up the lyric and the final part of it saying about she became a wife and so I figure that this album is dedicated to her husband; the cover album, the name of the album (Yours Conditionally, 2017) and in which is not one of the songs and I find it clever that it is not 'Unconditionally' but Conditionally.

I told this to my sister:
"Look at the title it's 'Yours Conditionally' like normally people
say I love you unconditionally but this, I am yours but with conditions."
I personally feel that this is genius.
The whole concept of realism and the real world,
the becoming of great and real ladies, come to me.
BOOM
(I don't know how to describe it, omg) and I guess it

I can't even describe these are the kind of music I'd listen to.  The emotions expressed and the way they were conveyed just felt right and special to me, and I want to believe that people who listen to this kind of music are the same as me, in some little ways (Suddenly I remember my sister who is quite different from me, the opposite but we listen to similar genre of musics hahaa).  The music is just like hints of musical instruments, limit to only certain sounds.