Friday, February 16, 2018

Birthday: Pansy Project


I'm not sure if this friend of mine ever noticed that I saved her name as Pansy in my phone and I always think if she ever had an English name, Pansy would suit her the best.  At first it just came up to me and I've been using it ever since and as time goes by I can see how she is so resembles to this Pansy name, be it the name itself, the meaning, the flowers and if she is a color, I would see yellow.
So for her birthday last year, I want to make something special even though she's not a fan of poetry and fancy my writing especially poetry but why not hahha, but I bought her physical present as well so and I feel she does not like it well I don't like what I bought but I ran out of time at that time :(.

I planned on making a small chapbook consists of poems about her and our friendship without telling what they are; the symbols, imagery and stuffs well I figure she'll notice it herself, she's a smart girl.  But then I ran out of time and I can't come up with at least ten poems.

That night before her birthday, I sent her screenshots of the poems and I said something about we discuss on this later since I need to wake up early tomorrow (I'm such a killjoy that night) but I really was needed the sleep and I probably didn't sleep if we continue to chat.  But too bad, since then she never talked about the poems I sent.  (secretly I'm afraid to bring that up although I really want to know what she thinks of them and how they are meant for her).  Pansy Project is a name I came up with when planning on making the chapbook, since it is a project but I guess I needed a longer time and motivation.  Isn't it cool? To have other people make a secret project for you and named it after you?  Guhh

But I guess I am not what describe myself in these.

Gave her two birthday haiku!
the only things I posted publicly.



The poems for her about her and us:


urghh there are even the green lines 

Journal: Some Links on TESL

Zine: MUSHABOOM


This took really long time to finish, I can't stop that night but I had to push myself to go to bed or else I'll wake up but I did wake up late the next morning, whenever I stop I can't find the strength to continue what I've left haha.  I had fun making this one.  I wish I have an app of software or anything to make this, well there are but not the kind that I have in my mind.  Uhh I'm so left up behind schedule of the photobooks too, but I got myself an off line software so that's good enough. 



IMAGINARY ZINE

 \


so here's the finished zine

Print and fold it yourself but the margin is a mess, so sorry


"MUSHABOOM debuted in early 2016 as a band- singer girl group. 
Consists of four members: Molly, Sailor, Bobbi and Omorose.
The name was inspired by Feist’s track #2 from second solo album Let It Die.
They give off bubbly dances and aim to bring laughter and to spread
happiness throughout the world with their catchy pop reggae songs!
Their debut album was called Mushaboom with Mushaboom logo
as the cover album with 5 tracks and
their singles Mushroom  and  Bombs Boom
which later becomes their fan club's name.
Up to date, Mushaboom has released
two studio albums; Mushaboom (2016),
Adultolescent (2017) and
one live album Mushaboom: For Mushroom"



so these are just a made up thing hence the title Imaginary





Monday, February 12, 2018

Music: Aesthetic Voices






Music: We Are Fucked





This song is deep (even though it is obviously being presented)
This song is an eye opener of what human are turning into or how the world is like this now.
This post is basically about me telling my interpretation of this piece.  The song is addictive too and her voice is so nice.

[Verse 1: Noah Cyrus]
My life is great; I write then hit update
I turn you on
Wanna belong, so I go to the mall
And I buy it all

(All on) Thank God it's the weekend
(My squad) Got time, we can waste it
(Don't know) Should we drive to the sunset or the fire?
(It's like) We live in a bubble pretending it's cuz we are young

[Chorus]
We are fucked
These days we only follow
These days we're feeling hollow
"Get paid", the only motto
We are fucked
They say "It all gets better"
They say "It won't last forever"
Then someone pulls the trigger
We are fucked

[Verse 2: MØ]
The fame, the fame
I want to hear my name
And I don't care what for

I'll change the world
Save all the trees and birds
But first I'll grab a Starbucks then I'll get to work

(All on) Thank God it's the weekend
(My squad) Got time we can waste it
(Don't know) Should we drive to the sunset or the fire?
(It's like) We live in a bubble pretending it’s cuz we are young

[Chorus]
We are fucked
These days we only follow
These days we’re feeling hollow
Get paid the only motto

We are fucked
They say "It all gets better"
They say "It won't last forever"
Then someone pulls the trigger
We are fucked

We've got hearts in the right places
But we're still a danger to ourselves
Maybe it's cuz we are young

Thank God it's the weekend
Should we drive to the sunset or the fire?

[Chorus]
We are fucked
These days we only follow
These days we’re feeling hollow
Get paid the only motto

We are fucked
They say "It all gets better"
They say "It won't last forever"
Then someone pulls the trigger
We are fucked

[Outro]
(And I don't, and I don't know why)
We've got hearts in the right places
But we're still a danger to ourselves
Maybe it's 'cause we are young
We are fucked!


My life is great; I write then hit update
I turn you on
Wanna belong, so I go to the mall
And I buy it all

People these days, we are relying on our phones, on internet, on gadgets.  Whenever you feel anything at all you decide to share it with the world be it the most unnecessary things that are better kept to yourself.  Too much sharing (publicly) is always too much.  
I turn you on Check the Evil's Eye for more and it can say many things there, the status you updated or the pictures you posted on the Instagram could trigger people in ways we wouldn't know, if those make people happy then I guess it's okay 
but what about if they drive people crazy, jealousy,  hunger and etc.  
People especially little kids, teenagers, youngsters want to feel belonged so bad (adults do too but we cope better than them) they willing to do things the wrong way, making wrong decisions and not really aware about it; in this case (the lyric) they buy it all, who knows you could not afford those trending gadgets or looks but well, or simply you try too hard to impress others when you are better than that.

We are fucked
They say "It all gets better"
They say "It won't last forever"
Then someone pulls the trigger
We are fucked

This sounds like a mental health issues, where many people still are being insensitive and ignorant (pricks for some) some are never talked about as they are considered taboo topics.  People would always say "It all gets better", "It won't last forever", "it's all just in your head" , "just be happy" , "be chill, okay", "calm down", "relax"
Can you see how fucked up most people are?  How ignorant they can be?
And Then someone pulls the trigger is when somebody committed suicide then it's too late and people would only then feel something really was wrong with that someone.  Then only people would acknowledge the suffering.
We are doomed.


We've got hearts in the right places
But we're still a danger to ourselves
Maybe it's cuz we are young

This is quite hard for me to understand but what I can get from this is that we have hearts, we have love, we love, we do love, we cherish but at times we can be harmful to ourselves especially when you never knew what monster you can turn to and the persona proceeds on saying maybe because they are young, so probably telling us that the youngsters (especially) they do things and they say that they do what they do for love and they never knew they could be so wrong.

These days we only follow
These days we’re feeling hollow
Get paid the only motto


 For the chorus, it's catchy and provocative.
These days we only follow is when people follow what's everybody are doing, we want attention, we seek attention be it from negative things, people hunger for fame, as long we got paid, people are the servants of money.  These days we’re feeling hollow people have no spiritual strength, limited beliefs, no beliefs, they feel emptiness because there's no food to give to the souls.  When hollow is what we feel other things, darkness may take over.



Sunday, February 11, 2018

Poem: #52poetry VI




Friends
profound, amiable
adoring, soothing, singing
sunshine, heart, storm, killjoy
triggering, screaming, attacking
dangerous, astringent
Friends
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