Journal: Of the many things I couldn't say

“I'm afraid my voice is going to break. I am afraid she is going to hear how much this hurts.”

― Holly Black, Red Glove

Sensitive people are the most genuine and honest people you will ever meet. There is nothing they won’t tell you about themselves if they trust your kindness. However, the moment you betray them, reject them or devalue them, they become the worse type of person. Unfortunately, they end up hurting themselves in the long run. They don’t want to hurt other people. It is against their very nature. They want to make amends and undo the wrong they did. Their life is a wave of highs and lows. They live with guilt and constant pain over unresolved situations and misunderstandings. They are tortured souls that are not able to live with hatred or being hated. This type of person needs the most love anyone can give them because their soul has been constantly bruised by others. However, despite the tragedy of what they have to go through in life, they remain the most compassionate people worth knowing, and the ones that often become activists for the broken hearted, forgotten and the misunderstood. They are angels with broken wings that only fly when loved.
― Shannon L. Alder

“There are certain children who are told they are too sensitive, and there are certain adults who believe sensitivity is a problem that can be fixed in the way that crooked teeth can be fixed and made straight. And when these two come together you get a fairytale, a kind of story with hopelessness in it.
 I believe there is something in these old stories that does what singing does to words. They have transformational capabilities, in the way melody can transform mood.
 They can't transform your actual situation, but they can transform your experience of it. We don't create a fantasy world to escape reality; we create it to be able to stay. I believe we have always done this, used images to stand and understand what otherwise would be intolerable.”
― Lynda Barry, What It Is 

Highly sensitive people are too often perceived as weaklings or damaged goods.  To feel intensely is not a symptom of weakness, it is the trademark of the truly alive and compassionate.  It is not the empath who is broken, it is society that has become dysfunctional and emotionally disabled.  There is no shame in expressing your authentic feelings.  Those who are at times described as being a 'hot mess' or having 'too many issues' are the very fabric of what keeps the dream alive for a more caring, humane world.  Never be ashamed to let your tears shine a light in  this world.

- Anthon St. Maarten 

Thanks and credit to whomever gather this quotes 

goodreads

But I believe I make no trouble with them surrounding me.  I don't make faces, I don't skip a day without talking to them, there's always the aftermath feelings of what ever occur to me that breaks me down.  I'm goofy, trust me  But here I am, strangers can see through me, I'm said to be self motivated, an yeah he's right, I picked myself up.

I'm not surprised
Not everything lasts
I've broken my heart so many times,
I stopped keepin' track.
Talk myself in
I talk myself out
I get all worked up
Then I let myself down.
I tried so very hard not to lose it
I came up with a million excuses
I thought, I thought of every possibility
And I know someday that it'll all turn out

                                            - Michael Buble Haven't Met You Yet

Ya I expect many things from them cuz I thought it's normal *sigh* I envied looking at others' friendship, how strong they are, how cool they are, how awesome they are, how theyre gonna look back together and how stupid or cool they were,  I don't have this.  We skipped what I thot the crucial time of a friendship lives, the teen time idk,,,and now we're no longer teens.  What we should experience, what we should learn, what we should be talking about and more, we don't have that.

I'm the type who would be my friends' biggest fan, I'm obsessed about their lives, wanting to know what they've been through, the types of guys they wish to be with, the kind of girls they wish to be, I want to know what they think of my playlist (but too afraid to show, reasons of not showing my writings), I'd read their journal and blogs and wait for their updates, like all of their uploaded photos on instagram, fbs and I wish they have youtube or vine ahhahha, I'll be the first to share!  I want somebody who I can be mad at but they won't be mad for long, I want to be with friends who criticize my Rihanna but listen to Rihanna's badass songs anyways, friends who would buy me crazy gifts and I would return the favor with crazier gifts but it's me who would be the first to give so heheh, Friends who I can get matching tattoo with! This kind but of course we won't! Haramm!  Friends who let me colour my hair, do what I dare, criticize me but they do the same anyway and laugh their butts off.,go getaway together, when they don't understand me, they ask. Friends who are comfortable with introducing their soulmate/boyfriends/ or whatever to me, Idk,, I just want to be a part of their love journey, of course not in a bad way, duhh hehe, it's fun I'm telling you, be your wingman (wing girl), I will not b envied cuz I know how you guys are givin me enuf love HAHA.

I'm sorry I kinda drifted away from kpop too, I know how it feels like to be the person at the other end...my friend did the same but I got over with already.  I too have weird friend who only love that particular band and will be quitting when the band is no longer there, that is soo weird.. come on there's so much to love out there!  So much to see and appreciate! It's hard to be a fan, we all know that. I've missed so much of them (that shows, these shows n basically everything), I finally decided to just let it passes me by.  Cuz it upsets and troubles me if I can't have them all, u get me? I still loving them but my discs are always full, I've lost my laptop, the bands are too active, they move too fast for a basic fangirl like me.  I've so many things to do yet so little time.
Ya I want these, I'm selfish I know,
but others can.

But then, they must've think I'm asking too much, get myself a life or anything... I can't do the same since they don't let me in..It's hard. Some people I know, would be criticizing of this kind of person I am, they say "you can always find other friends, don't wait for them", I'm too emotional and all.  Idk,,they are the friends I wish to bring to Akhirah.  This is to 'To the infinity and beyond"

"I'm hurtin baby
I'm broken down"

"I'm right here, 'cause I need
Little love and little sympathy"

 *sigh*

#np Eleena Harris -Die In Your Arms

Oh, I can't help it, I'm just selfish
There's no way that I could share you
That would break my heart to pieces
Honestly the truth is...

Ooh, if there is a reason to call me a fool
'Cause I love too hard

Album : Crazy Life

I love this kind of cover 

This is mainly just the intro of them by me but with minimum details, not a review.  So many things to say but uhhhh. Anyway~ Yay! So this is one of my current music obsessions!  I listen to them in the car, in my mp4, some tracks in my phone.  I love their talent, their great covers, their wonderful songs and their good looks!  I first encountered their cover of Meghan Trainor's All About That Bass, I love it instantly, it's unique with their own country touch, I never feel even more attracted to country music~ I've seen one of their live concert in the Youtube of course They are organized team, and funny guys.

And yeah I have a thing with a bass voice  heheh.. so Tim Foust part always had my ears all about that bass!  Awesome bass, rich in its way.  And Austin is the Home Free heartthrob as Tim introduced him in their concert, and yeah no wonder because I too think the same  I saw him first but then I can't decide which one is my bias hahahhaha. But I like to see him in Champagne Taste (Beer budget) haha..not because he's topless ehh, his hair and the funny dance and their song mixed up, I fell for that part ngeee.

For the Crazy Life album, name taken from one of the tracks, I love most of them! The Hunter Hayes medley, Your Man, Crazy Life, Champagne taste (beer budget), Ring of fire, and idk all of them 

They have their own songs too:

Crazy Life is wonderful, inspiring piece!

and more!  Check them out!  I even save a playlist of them in my youtube account.

HomeFreeYoutube

Home Free official site

and yeah Instagram of them

(I'm too lazy to share them here)