Music: Tennis

I found another new muse! Alhamdulillah!  Thanks to my sister for introducing this duo? They're totally a talented art maker.  I was busy listening to some other songs for inspiration (I'm lacking of it these days)  And I am listening to the whole latest album by this duo, I believe that they make these tracks themselves, I meant the writing.

When she suggested me to type 'Modern Woman Tennis' I expected a man and a kinda song like Mac DeMarco's and I was wrong for the first part.  The music video is like an old era, like 70s or 80s, a lady which I learned as the singer and she wears this big curly hair and the lights all over her while she's turning and you know the mvs back then.

I am as a time traveler enthusiast find this very mesmerizing, they really are different, the songs they make are wonderful, hauntingly enchanting.  I looked up and learned that they made music since 2011 with similar cover album concept.

taken from Google

TENNIS!

So while listening to this, my sister told me all the details she know and I love Tennis instantly.  My sister even said that all of their songs are good, tho I feel a little skeptical about that, I don't complain.  I love the first song so why not the second one; In the Morning I'll be Better and I love this one too.  Then I decided to listen to the whole album; Yours Conditionally and while looking for it, I was listening to Matrimony and again I love this too.  For this one I actually looked up the lyric and the final part of it saying about she became a wife and so I figure that this album is dedicated to her husband; the cover album, the name of the album (Yours Conditionally, 2017) and in which is not one of the songs and I find it clever that it is not 'Unconditionally' but Conditionally.

I told this to my sister:
"Look at the title it's 'Yours Conditionally' like normally people
say I love you unconditionally but this, I am yours but with conditions."
I personally feel that this is genius.
The whole concept of realism and the real world,
the becoming of great and real ladies, come to me.
BOOM
(I don't know how to describe it, omg) and I guess it

I can't even describe these are the kind of music I'd listen to.  The emotions expressed and the way they were conveyed just felt right and special to me, and I want to believe that people who listen to this kind of music are the same as me, in some little ways (Suddenly I remember my sister who is quite different from me, the opposite but we listen to similar genre of musics hahaa).  The music is just like hints of musical instruments, limit to only certain sounds.

Music: Reviews on Instagram

I made a few posts on Instagram on several songs that touched me good, or really do something to me or just simply they give off good beat *cough*.  I use Picmotion app for the clips and love it ever since.  I should've made something longer eh.  When I looked back at this tag of mine, I don't really post this kinds of post a lot and I feel quite upset about it.  And I still surprised I did't include Lily Allen's F*** You track.  Did I?

A screenshot

#mairahreview

Valerie: Her 1st tattoo ever!

Album: Cry Baby

It all started out with me listening to Halsey's Colors, I've listened to this long time ago but then I decided to just go back and listen to it again after so many years (is it really that long?)

Then I saw comments BUT honestly I can't remember how I found Melanie.  But the comment section This is so bad and I feel like a bad fan I can't even say I am one.  But it happened earlier this year and I found her and I learned about her style of music and how she made them, she plays guitar, she writes poem and that basically leads her to writing songs and lyric and that I think is an awesome thing ever and she's cute and her sense of fashion is cute yet creepy but I love it anyway.  It even made me wanted to try that kind of hairstyles and colors, I wanted to dye my hair with two different colors and wear a nose ring.  OMG I really do want to wear my make up like her (just that I don't really wear make up)

Tracklist

Tracklist

1. Cry Baby

2. Dollhouse

3. Sippy Cup

4. Carousel

5. Alphabet Boy

6. Soap

7. Training Wheels

8. Pity Party

9. Tag, You're It

10. Milk and Cookies

11. Pacify Her

12. Mrs. Potato Head

13. Mad Hatter

Deluxe Edition Tracklist

14. Play Date

15. Teddy Bear

16. Cake

I super glad that I found her and her very first debut album called Cry Baby.  It even comes with a booklet telling stories about a character named Cry Baby and it is written in poems and the stories are told in songs and the poems are written based on the track list and there's illustration in which Melanie would love to have that kind of drawings drawn to her body.  Honestly, I'm not a fan of vintage dolls, western dolls, not sure how the dolls look like in my place many many years ago but the way she involved the dolls in her art piece is just weirdly pleasant looking and I don't mind at the sight of the dolls.  They're creepy.

Out of the tracks, I first listened to Pity Party or was it Pacify Her?  I watched the MV first before listening to the whole album.  I like Pity Party especially the part where she loses her mind and says

"I'm laughing, I'm crying, I feel like I'm dying"

This part pretty much explains my emotion back then, and I guess that is why I love this song.  Again it was about my workplace issue and my own inner conflict.

The MV explains the song well, and so is her other MVs.  I like MVs that really have the relation to the title of the songs or the whole story of the songs.  It just gives me the impression of the music being high quality and effective.

Her messages are coming for me.  She really reaches out and we understand her and her stories.  I watched her lives, interviews and The Voice she was in and I fell in love with her version of La Roux Bulletproof.  I DO LOVE IT A LOT.  It is just so manja and sexy.  Never would I have thought that that song could be so sexy.

I love the whole album despite I have my favorite.  I can say that her first album is perfect.  She has a lot work to do for the second just to top her own record of the first album.  It is well organized.  Her ideas and concept can be seen through the whole album.  She introduces a character, Cry Baby which I believe it is her own self and other minor characters like the boyfriends, her family members or at least her other self's family.  The stories go on from one song to another and also a few side stories like the Mrs. Potato.  She conveys her ideas and opinions through tracks like that but it does not go too far from her main concept.

I like the lyrics of course and how they are poetic and just easy to sing along and I have fun figuring out her songs both by the comments and my own interpretation.  She is indeed an artist.  She makes art and I am so glad I found her and I wish she makes more and more good art in the future.  I hope I can own her physical album and if she ever writes books I want them all and woa PLEASE WRITE SOME!  This may sound silly but because of her I once had the urge to make songs too.  But I don't even play musical instrument so I'm gonna just leave that side of me here.  It's funny right how we can be influenced, how I can be influenced like this.  

I like the stories behind every tracks of hers.  For instance, Training Wheels is about the girl having the intention of stepping to another level of relationship and the MV portrays that in a child's play situation: she wants the boy to take off the training wheels of the bike.

It's genius. 

Soap is about how you wish you didn't say some words (You know words that make you seemed stupid and feel stupid and make you feel regretted) and you wish you can wash your mouth for saying it.

"Why do I always spill"

And yes, I don't need to talk about her vocal, I like it and I like it a lot, husky and raspy and she can sing.  Her stage attitude is the one I like too, like how Gerard Way and Katy Perry would on stage.  I really am bad at describing huh hahhah

here is a few bits on her vocal not arranged by me obviously

She has cute dance style too hahhah!
But ya you should check out her Pacify Her video
They call it noodle dance ahhaha LOVE IT
of course I love everything about her right??

She did a lot of covers too
CHECK THEM OUT

Look at that tooth gap, super cute

My favorite songs are Play Date, Pacify Her, Alphabet Boy (I love how she plays with words here)

She has a lot of MVs from this album and I love it when singers made a lot of MVs out of their tracks because I want to see more of them in action together with the songs.

Pacify Her

Cry Baby

Dollhouse

Mrs. Potato Head

Alphabet Boy

Carousel

Sippy Cup

A LOT RIGHT?

The best part of making of these videos is that she directs them herself.

She even has perfume commercial.  Cute one!

• Instagram
• Official Site

OMG THIS IS BASICALLY ABOUT MELANIE AND NOT HER ALBUM
HAHHA

P/s: She inspires me up to the moon, I wish I can do something like her.

Journal: Upon Adulthood

English translation of this song

MELTED by AKMU

The blue ocean that the red sun used to wash its face turns black
The white sky that had clouds and rain and the wind turns gray
I leave the darkness that finds my heart
Even the cold shadow that covers the night starts to harden

If the ice melts, a warmer song would have come out
But why is the ice so cold? Why is it so cold?
Why are they so cold
Why are they so cold

The blue ocean that the red sun used to wash its face
I look at the past warmth that is deeply buried (too late get it out)
I wish the cold in the world of adults would be gone too

I wish the frozen love will melt away now

I leave the darkness that finds my heart

Even the cold shadow that covers the night starts to harden

If the ice melts, a warmer song would have come out
But why is the ice so cold? Why is it so cold?

If the ice melts, a warmer song would have come out
But why is the ice so cold? Why is it so cold?
Why are they so cold
Why are they so cold

Read more: http://www.kpoplyrics.net/akmu-melted-lyrics-english-romanized.html#ixzz4pvvufBvl

Such a beautiful song.  Written with talent and bad experience.  The symbols used are just so good.  So poetic and I like the line if the ice melts, a warmer song would have come out.  

It means a lot.

Guys, this is why I love poetry.  and this pretty much explains why I am such a sucker for some songs similar to this and I'm a crybaby you assholes and why I am AKMU's fan.  

I'm such a late bloomer, I only managed to figure myself about this passion of mine quite late and I'm not sure what to feel. 

So when I was looking for more videos for the previous entry, I browsed for AKMU, because they made beautiful songs and MVs and I remembered watching this one when they debuted and I like the MV and I like the boy (he's cute) and also I can't really remember what I thought of this MV the first time I saw it but I know I like the song.  But after watching it back just now, and I actually cried like really crying and I lied down on the cold floor of my room then I was thinking why would I watch something that is so frustrating, you know the boy had a hard time in the MV, even the dog betrayed him and when he thought that owh I can smile now because there's a dog but the dog barked at you and he lost it and he barked at it instead.  Like he is so frustrated, he lost his bags, and got beaten by an adult.  

Then, I sat up straight and I decided to read the comments and I saw this:

Not sure if I can show the names but this is not a bad thing and
I think it is okay to just leave the names here because they made a good comments anyway



and I was like woa I never thought it this way about the mv and the song.  I never learned the lyric anyway and I didn't watch any interviews on AKMU about their songs (I probably gonna do it after this)  And it hits me, it hits me real good and how I can totally relate this to my life right now and how it is so true.
So basically I am an adult now even though I don't feel like it and I feel so not fit in among the adults at my workplace since I'm working and I pay my own bills and actually have bills and drive my own car and so I guess that's adult enough to be called as adult.  I am not ready and at times I even feel like wanting to become friends with my teenage students because I just miss what they have with their friends and I want that back.

I officially a government school teacher for a year, yesterday was the anniversary of me and my fellow friends.  A day or two before that. I had a conflict with a colleague of mine and she's such a bitch and I hate her now and everything she does bother me a lot like please don't even talk to me as if there's nothing happened.  I never felt being hated like this before.  It sucks since you're alone there and I lost my utmost trust on them.  I really am.  I thought they were perfect but then this happened and I felt so out of place and how my mornings are ruined because of that critics she gave me and also every time I look at her.  What an asshole she is.

Then I remember everything that ever happened to me since I first got posted there and begin my life as a working adult.  That was the critical point where I really feel like ohh this is it, this is adulthood.  I don't even got excited when I got my first paycheck (not really a check) and the first time I saw the boss in that place, it was already bad enough, like she didn't seem to be welcoming me and all I needed that time was just comforting words, like bitch this is hard enough why make it hard on me and can't you even smile at me?

And can't you guys tell that I don't want this job?
I don't mind
and clearly
I made a mistake.
So don't go around and assume that I have nothing else if I don't have this job.
Can't you see this is complicated
really bitch?
YOU ARE AN ADULT
YOU GUYS ARE ALL ADULTS
and clearly you were once like me too
or was it easy for you?
and can you guys like stop asking me whether I have a boyfriend and some even asking me when will I get married?
Like does that really bother you? Mind your own business, bitches.

you guys treated me like I have a lot to give.
you treated me like I know everything.
You expect so much from me.
Can't you see I'm just a newbie adult?
I am sorry if I don't act like one because I never been an adult before and there's no fcking manual on that.
I'd call myself a late bloomer.
I know myself better than any of you.
I do.
Lucky for you guys if adulthood comes so naturally to you,
and read me thoroughly first instead of bombing me with your assumptions just because you are butt-hurting of my existence.

Currently my friends are having hard times, my best friend is sick and I feel helpless that I am not there with her and I feel so bad about it.  I sent comforting words that I really hope to comfort her but I know my words are nothing to her illness but I want you to know that I cried too but I have to be strong for you.
And my housemate, she suddenly shut herself from her friends, only negative status updates on fb and I don't even know why.  But the status was about work and her colleagues.  I don't even know what I am supposed to do and I'm scared.
I have a friend that said that she's depressed.  That she might have depression.  I know it's a lot more to that term, but if that what she feels then, that's enough.  She had enough, she's tired, she's sad and she's not happy.  She was so fine but then it just happened.  I understand that, and I feel restless about it.

AND YEAH ADULTS ARE COLD
give us a break you asshole morons
you guys are not helping anything
I never wanted to be like you guys anyway
but it just happen.
we just grow old.
You guys give many bad examples and expect me to accept them?
I feel you, AKMU.
Our first time as an adult facing other adults and it sucks.

Ya you guys have it hard too, but don't let it on us
vent on your kids instead.
They're gonna be like me like my friends someday
they'll be adults too and the way I act will be theirs too.
so stop complaining about your marriage and rely on us the not married ones.
What if I don't get married at all?
(again with the assumptions I'll get married one day, that bitch even said how can I "branak pinak kalu tu pun xtaw"
HEY BITCH
first, you eavesdroppin?? and think that's okay for you to make an opinion right there right then when I was actually not talking to you, bitch? and did I ask for your opinion, bitch?
and secondly, I was only asking silly things about my chocolate spread, I was just trying to be a goodie2 girl to my desk neighbor person, is that really a bother that I want to be manja2??  If you were joking, you're not funny.

Music: Aesthetic Music Videos

Just a list of music videos that I find very aesthetic and hooked with.

They are visually captivating and manage to evoke some kind of wonderful feelings and wonderful memories of your own or even not from your own mind at all, something that you can create or just the minds of the characters you are writing about.  The feeling you get when it is raining peacefully.  

Some of these even evoke the sad feelings and it feels as if we are them, the characters from the mv or the songs or just the things that we always wanting to do with some of our friends or just simply things that related to you or you want it to be related to you.  

These types of videos make me feel as if I am in different world but still in my own.  A kind of feeling that soothing and pleasant.

and together with good music and vocal just boom wow.

Rain

by

Soyou & Baekhyun 

Hold My Hand

by

Lee Hi

Palette

by 

IU feat G Dragon

I Swear

by

SISTAR

There are more but I just can't remember the others hmmm

haha

P/s:

My leg cramped last night, like the whole leg TT

Thinking of buying IU's latest album, Palette but I think I'm broke TT

Music: Chris Koo

You know sometimes biler ak came across with vids guys dancing to girls songs geli mmg x kena, cringy btul tp this guy ak suke sgt siap jeles and wow and ulang play sambil sengeh sengsorang and secretly dancing along in my mind hahahh.  and maybe some of you tgk ni leh cringe.  Feeling ak tgk this guy mcm tgk Shinee's Key dances to girls songs.  Suke sbb mcm wow perfect and on point.  Tp ak jd cringy bler some boys mcm sape tu kump ZEA yg maknae x silap.

Rase mcm kesian, and ak kne tutup.  But this is clearly soal personal choice, ntah nape suke ntah nape x kan.  And ak kenal die ni same lame ak knal kpop and mase suke gler nk cover dances so jmpe this guy and ak suke gler bler die kaver Beyonce omg omg. So harap die dpt la cover Beyonce's Blow.

Below: I first discovered this video 

I was looking for Right? cover than I rediscovered Chris after so many years and I'm glad. Hehe

SO AWESOME

And suke sgt Unnie pnye lagu yg ni

Journal: New Home

We spent our first night here last night in our new home!

I wish I have my close friends here helping around, not that I really need the help but watching movies where their friends are there with them, unload and unpack things up, this is just a perfect picture.  But anyway I never told them I'm actually moving houses again.  The last time I told them, some of them were upset and I was sorry but I have my own reasons.  I'm sorry guys.  I appreciate it.

Anyway the house decoration and furniture arrangement are not yet finished and we need another two or three more trips to finally clear the old house out from the stuff.  OMG there's a lot of stuff, really a lot. phew.  I wish I work here so I can help everyday, every evening and every night. TT

Today, we got rid of many things including some shoes, great shoes of mine.  I always love high heels but I can never really wear them anywhere (mostly on wedding kenduri).  I have problems with my feet too TT

Oh ya, a reminder for me of Jason 

Movie: The Legendary Lackey

It's a KBS drama special, which is a one shot and I found this randomly while browsing through the sites looking for any good movies.  And I love this so much, it was something new to me, the good plot story, gorgeous castings, and HILARIOUS.  It is something worth watching, I had a good laugh.  I don't know the actors tho, and no women involved in this film/drama or whatever it is called,  got two KBS guys that I know, the comedian and the announcer, I guess. 

It is about a guy who transferred school and tries so hard and does what it takes to not to get back to his former school job as a lackey for a school bully.  He wants to change his life and makes friends finally.  

Chat: That boy again

Upon going out of class 2 (1-1) (good class) (1period):

Boy A: Teacher umur brape?
Me: ha?
Boy S: 26 kan?
Me: aihhh nooo.aritu da bgtaw tkkan da lupa
Boy S: 23?

Me to A: why the sudden question? Nape ttibe tnye umur,
It's 19**

Boy N (sit from other group): utk mengenal cg dgn lebih rapat.

Me: *gelak*

Saw Boy A & Boy S calculating (i was quite far but can see theyre scribbling smthing n it looked like yg bntuk lazim tu hahahaha)
Me: woihh calculate lambat benao

Chapbook Journey: Some stuffs on bookbinding

I'm starting a new entry list called

  Chapbook Journey

Since I'm a fan of poetry and I do write some 

(I'm such a newbie please support me)

and I actually LOVE doing it, 

and after some time and I think I'm ready

(might be) and after some research, study, and thoughts, 

and that perfect timing, the art block and etc

I want to make some.

I do,

And I really want to.

Start small and keep doing it

and just fall in love with yourself.

SO

I discovered some good techniques that can be used to make our own books!

I'm a huge fan of cute books!

and a fan of making them by own hands too!

DIY Simple Bookbinding For Soft Covers

by

DiHeartss

DIY SKETCHBOOKS - No Stitching & No Stapler

by 

Baylee Jae

Book Binding Glue Version

by

Annenberg Digital Lounge

Obviously I go for tutorial that use things that are easy to find.  From where I live it's hard to get the so many craft tools and even if we do have them, it'll cost an arm an a leg DX.  My favourite out of these will be the first one, I even search for Mod Podge and I found it!

Also I've  bind books before, normal stacks folded thin papers, stapled, then I used to make accordion mini album; hard cover bound *smirk* (now where did I put them???) and I really enjoy making them.  It has been a long time since I last made some.